Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
It has been a while since I have seen a movie this rough and unpolished. So Vam is a low-budget vampire movie that you are better off not watching. While well-intentioned as it addresses important issues that affect the LBGQT community, it just isn’t a good movie. The acting is rigid and stiff, the writing is inconsistent, and the story isn’t interesting. At least the camera quality and the sound is good.
The movie focuses on a young gay kid who just wants to live his life and be who he is. The town he lives in doesn’t accept him for being gay. As a result, he experiences a lot of bullying and discrimination. He is an outcast in this town and dreams of going somewhere where he can be who he is without any judgment. His life changes when a strange man turns him into a vampire. With the help of a few trans and gay vampires, he learns to use his powers for good. He now has the confidence to be who he wants to be, but there is a dark force after him. Will he and his new friends be strong enough to defeat this lingering evil from another time, or will evil prevail?
This movie has too many issues, and it isn’t worth your time. I liked that they try to redefine the vampire mythos, but the writing is too inconsistent to do so properly. There is no effective world-building aside from narrative existing in a small town, no consistency in the powers the vampires have, and no clear distinctions between the faction except that one are the bad one. The villain is one-dimensional and flat partly due to the bad writing and largely due to the rigid and emotionless acting that is thematic for this movie. The writing isn’t good, full of some notable holes and continuity errors. For example, there is a character in this movie that uses the they/them pronouns at the beginning of the film, but then is changed to he/him later on. This inconsistency is glaring for a movie that boasts of being an LGBTQ film early on. If you are going to make an LGBTQ movie, at least get the pronouns right.
I can forgive low-budget movies when they are fun like Velocipastor, but there is nothing fun here. You can stream this on Shudder, but it isn’t worth your time.
Movie Review: Day Shift(2022)
Day Shift is a buddy comedy about vampire hunters that certainly has its moments, but I wouldn’t rush out to go stream it unless you have nothing else to watch. While it may not be the worst movie on the platform, its inconsistencies leave it in an awkward place where it is hard to recommend.
Jamie Foxx is a rogue vampire hunter that plays by his own rules. This flaw makes him a broke vampire hunter, desperate for money. In an effort to stay afloat, he must join the heavily regulated secret organization of vampire hunters. Here he is assigned Dave Franco, an inexperienced desk jockey who does everything by the book. The two find themselves in a conflict against a powerful vampire and her clan. They now must learn to work together to save Los Angeles from a vampire uprising.
Day Shift is just okay. The acting is fine, the jokes are inconsistent at best, and the story is generic. I don’t think there was a clear road map for this movie as it feels like a series of unfunny sketches strung together with some decent action scenes. If you cut out the dull and unfunny bits, we wouldn’t have a movie.
There is nothing special about this story. The characters are forgettable. Dave Franco and Jamie Foxx don’t have enough chemistry to pull this movie off, but I will blame the script for that. The villains have no presence, leaving the film without the suspense and tension it needs to be interesting. This would be forgivable because this movie is a comedy, but most of the jokes aren’t funny. The movie always goes for the cheap laugh and it doesn’t always work. I will commend the movie’s attention to detail. There are some small insignificant bits of lore that are set up very nicely, but I only noticed them because I was losing interest in the movie.
The action is this film’s only redeeming feature. Whoever designed the action scenes in this movie had a lot of fun with their job. Not all the scenes are equally fun, but there were enough to save this movie from being terrible. The first couple of fights in this movie are fantastic, but the movie definitely loses its steam towards the end.
If you are thinking of watching Day Shift, do so passively. Not everything in this movie is worth your attention. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go out of my way to put this on. You can stream it over on Netflix.
Movie Review: Secret Headquarters (2022)
I was pleasantly surprised by Secret Headquarters. I was expecting a completely generic superhero kids action movie, but I got a decent action comedy. It may not be perfect, but it has an undeniable charm to it. It is a solid kids’ movie, but one that you should only watch with your kids. It isn’t good enough to recommend to anyone outside of the target demographic.
The movie focuses on Charlie and his friend’s attempt to survive a villain’s assault on the world’s only superhero. Charlie is a normal kid trying to survive middle school while dealing with his parent’s separation and his absent father. Charlie’s life changes when he and his friends discover that his dad is the superhero The Guardian. Unfortunately, this discovery throws the kids into an ongoing conflict between The Guardian and an organization that is after The Guardian’s power. With the help of his friends and the Guardian, Charlie must now stop the villains from taking over the world.
This movie is okay. It isn’t going to win awards or redefine the genre or the medium, but it isn’t the worst way to spend two hours. The plot is simple, the humor is easy, but the special effects are pretty good. You will lose interest because the pacing is a little slow. A lot of the humor in this movie is designed for kids. Not all of the jokes land, but there are some solid references and double entendres that will offer you a good chuckle. The best part of the movie is its editing. The editing is hilarious. I love how it would cut away perfectly to sensor the cuss words. Your kids (if applicable) will have more fun with this movie than you will.
What helps make this movie palatable is the acting. The kids are fun and share some great chemistry, and Owen Wilson and Micheal Pena are a delight. The characters are given enough development to be distinguishable but don’t expect anything complex. Most characters fill an archetype; but they do well enough within those restrictions. The villains in this movie are exactly what you can expect from a kids’ movie. They are dumbed down and generic; Micheal Pena does his best.
This movie isn’t perfect. If you don’t have kids, I wouldn’t go out of my way to seek it out. If you have kids, it is a decent action comedy. Check it out on Paramount+.
Series Review: The Sandman (2022)
I can’t recommend The Sandman enough. This is fantasy at its finest. The story is amazing, the acting is mostly great, and it is such a beautiful show. I can’t speak on how close of an adaptation it is to the comic, but I can speak on what a good show this is.
The series deals with the gods and forces outside of the human realm that affects the human experience. Forces like death, desire, and dreams are manifested as gods, each with its own domain to rule. The natural order of things gets complicated when a series of events lead to the capture of Dream. Years go by, and Dream’s kingdom crumbles. The show focuses on a newly freed Dream as he tries to rebuild his Kingdom and his power.
I have been impatiently waiting for any new fantasy to hold me over till the next season of The Circle of Time. This definitely helped soothe my impatient heart, but now I fear I will be impatiently waiting for this next season of The Sandman as well. It is safe to say that I am obsessed with this show, and there is a good reason for that. The narrative is interesting, full of well-generated tension, interesting villains and heroes, and some pretty fantastic world-building. I love that Dream isn’t a traditional hero. Dream will often act whit his own interest in mind because he is not limited by human morals. He will slowly realize that this is not always in the universe’s best interest, and his thinking slowly changes as a result of his experience. It is very cool to see a hero who learns from his journey as he deals with his flaws and inhibitions.
The narrative style for this show is unique. Each arc seems to have its own voice, keeping the series fresh and exciting. It is nice to see fantasy that doesn’t follow the usual tropes. My only complaint is with the inconsistency of the acting. Some actors give amazing performances, while others do their best but have awkward delivery. It isn’t a terrible problem, but it is noticeable. I also had an issue with the pacing. I felt it slows down towards the end, but I never felt like it was unwatchable.
This is a great series and you can watch it on Netflix!
Movie Review: Prey (2022)
I love Predator. It is one of my favorite movies. I will watch everything that features the Yautja, no matter how bad they are. I have known disappointment so many times that my hope for the series is fleeting. When I heard about Prey, there was the bittersweet sensation of cautious excitement because the trailer looked cool, but I wasn’t ready to be hurt again. This movie has restored my faith in the series and has become one of my favorites. If you are thinking about watching this film, watch it now!
This prequel focuses on Naru, a young female Comanche warrior who is constantly trying to prove herself to the men of the tribe. The Yautja has landed on earth, searching for worthy prey to hunt. The Yautja begins to hunt the Comanche warriors. Now Naru must protect her tribe against this strange and powerful hunter.
This movie is fantastic. The action is fun, the story is great, and the acting is fantastic. Watching the Yautja hunt is tense and exciting. The film does a great job of making the fights balanced and exciting. The only complaint I have about this movie is that some of the special effects are bad. Some deaths and fights are cartoonishly bad, but not bad enough to ruin the movie. This is one of the better stories set in the predator universe. It has well-built tension that builds to one of the most satisfying conclusions. The acting is phenomenal. It goes without saying, this movie has one of the best female leads in the genre. She is cool and smart, and I believed she was capable of hunting the Yautja. I can only hope there are more movies of this caliber for the genre and the predator universe.
It cannot be understated, you need to watch Prey. It is available in English and a Numunuu dubbing. I wish the whole movie was done in Numunuu, and we got an English dubbing after; but we might not be there as a society yet
Movie Review: Lightyear (2022)
Lightyear has just been released on Disney+, and after watching it, I understand why it flopped so badly. The first few minutes show promise. I was optimistic about the story because Buzz was interesting. Unfortunately, the rest of this movie turned into a disappointing and generic kids’ action movie.
Buzz is the lone wolf archetype you are already familiar with. There isn’t much variation in his character or his journey, so why bother? His tendency to work alone causes the series of events that leave him and the colony stranded on a strange planet. The guilt Buzz feels about getting everyone stranded fuels his obsession to be perfect. Buzz makes it his mission to help get the colony into space again. His guilt and pride drive the remaining of this disappointing narrative. It isn’t a bad movie, but you have seen this story play out better elsewhere.
The voice acting was fine, but there are some awkward line readings that are hard to ignore. It can be better. I wish they would stop using celebrity voice actors and instead focus on hiring good voice actors. Good voice acting wouldn’t save this movie, but it would be more watchable.
The characters in this movie are flat and uninteresting. Buzz is a generic action hero, the villain is a terrible trope that ruined the movie, and the side characters are one-note characters that only exist to make their one joke. I didn’t care about the movie because I didn’t care about the characters and that is a problem.
The story is a generic action movie. Buzz wants to work alone, but this one mission helps him realize that he can’t do everything alone. I was excited when I watched the trailers because I remember liking the animated series. Unfortunately, instead of the epic space adventure, we get a recycled story we have seen too many times already. This movie needs a compelling villain, a better lead and side characters, and a unique story.
I am glad I didn’t spend any money on this movie because it isn’t worth it. It isn’t the worst movie on the platform, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it. If you are forced to watch this, you aren’t going to hate it, but you probably won’t watch it again. I know I am not. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Disney+.
Game Review: Noel the Mortal One (2022)
I received Noel the Mortal Fate as a review code. I want to thank Playism for the opportunity to review this title. That said, I will not let this sway my opinion of the game. This will be an honest review of the game.
Noel the Mortal Fate is a visual novel with some minor gaming elements to it. This is a book, and any gameplay, whether it be puzzles or boss fights, is a railroad you to a certain ending. The choices you make and any exploration available don’t matter. The puzzles and boss fights are simple, as the focus of this title is to tell a story. If you like manga or anime, this is a solid revenge plot with a lot of the anime tropes you are familiar with. I had a lot of fun with this title, but I understand that it isn’t for everyone.
Noel is a young prodigy pianist who has lost the most important piano competitions in her town. Angered by the loss, she is tricked into making a deal with the devil. Unbeknownst to her, the deal will restore her honor at the cost of her limbs. Caren, the devil she summons, takes pity on Noel and promises to help her get her revenge on the person who tricked her into making the deal. The game then follows Noel’s journey toward vengeance. This is a game full of interesting characters, epic fights, and devil pacts. Will Noel be able to exact her revenge? You will need to play to find out.
Gameplay-wise, this is a book. There is a lot of reading and no voice acting. The reading is occasionally broken up by puzzles, fights, and light exploration. I enjoyed the story, but I am speaking as an anime fan. The characters are unique and interesting, although some of them are anime archetypes. I loved the style of storytelling. Most of the story exists in 2D animated sprites, but they make it work. The use of flashbacks, fight scenes, music, and comic strips all come together to tell an engaging narrative. Boss encounters felt epic, character growth was exciting, and the flashbacks were woven in nicely. My only complaint would be with the translation. I noticed some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but none of it was unplayable.
I played this game on the Nintendo Switch and loved it. Undocked, the game runs great. The letters are easy to read, and the maps were very visible. When docked I used a controller. It was nice to have a bigger screen, but it isn’t necessary. In both modes, I preferred the d-pad for movement because it allowed for more control. Movement in this game is awkward, and I often overshot targets. The d-pad offers more control over the movement, but it isn’t perfect. The awkward movement added unnecessary difficulty to the puzzles and boss fights.
Overall, I enjoyed this game a lot. I liked the story and loved the music, but I wish the game offered meaningful choices to give it replayability. It would be nice to have multiple endings instead of being railroaded into one. Some of the gameplay feels like padding, like when you control a character to walk through a hallway. That said, I still enjoyed it. There was enough world-building where I wasn’t lost or overwhelmed. The characters were interesting and memorable. I ended up becoming very invested in the narrative, often rooting for the heroin’s success.
This is a niche game. If you like anime and visual novels, this is a solid one. If you are curious about the genre, Noel the Mortal Fate is a nice starting point. The story is interesting but easy to follow, the characters are unique and well developed, and it isn’t overly sexualized. Just know that you aren’t buying a game, but a novel with gaming elements.
It is available for the Nintendo Switch, Sony Playstation 4, Xbox One, and PC. Links lead to respective store page.
Series Review: Paper Girls (2022)
Paper Girls is an interesting take on the time travel narrative that I am sure you will enjoy. Where most time travel narratives create a complex journey full of plot holes and redundancies, Paper Girls creates a creative narrative about womanhood within an epic time travel adventure. The series focuses on a group of four girls who stumble into a war that has waged through time. Stranded outside of their own time, the girls must figure out a way to get back home and maybe save the universe in the process.
The show is incredibly fun with great actors and a fantastic narrative. The leads are well written and share some great chemistry. They are fun to watch on screen. I absolutely love how they handle time travel. The science is pretty reasonable, making this a very plausible Sci-Fi adventure. I loved that there wasn’t any over-the-top scientific babble. You won’t be overloaded with convoluted plot points, but instead, be told a very sweet story about friendship and growing up.
At its core, Paper Girls is a coming-of-age story. Each girl is just trying to survive being a teenager dealing with the circumstances they are dealt. Each girl wants to find out who they are in life. This adventure forces them to make the difficult choices that define who they will be. It is a well-written adventure, and watching the girls grow throughout is well worth the investment.
If you like Sci-Fi Fantasy like Stranger Things, this is a good show to tide you over till the new season. I didn’t know what to expect when I picked this up, but it has easily become one of my favorites. Check it out on Amazon if you have a Prime Membership.
Movie Review: The Gray Man (2022)
Netflix continues its trend of releasing disappointing star-studded films that don’t deserve your time. You are better off not watching Gray Man because even with its amazing cast, it fails to make a tangible impression. This might not be the worst movie on the platform, but I have already forgotten I watched it.
The movie is about a secret agent who magically stumbles onto a McGuffin of a conspiracy. The film is a series of action movie tropes strung together by awkwardly rendered chase scenes, all building up to a very disappointing ending.
The acting is easily the best part. The only exception would be Regé-Jean Page’s terrible American accent, but his accent isn’t what ruins the movie. The quality of the rest of the movie falls flat in comparison. There are a few moments of competence, like the phone conversations written in creative code to hide from surveillance or when Ryan Gosling refuses to throw a gun because it is dangerous that shows promise. There are even attempts at symbolism, but these efforts are wasted because the rest of the movie isn’t good.
Gray Man is a movie without a plot. There is a giant disappointing Mcguffin, an uninspired villain, and too many plot holes. The villain kills for the sake of killing, and the hero chases because it is in the script. There is no tension because Ryan Gosling has the ungodly ability to sense danger before it happens. I wouldn’t mind the lack of plot if the action was better.
The action here is unintelligible. If the fights aren’t poorly rendered, they are stiff and boring. There is a terrible fight scene on a plane that gave me motion sickness. Chase scenes don’t fare any better as they suffer from the same afflictions. Gray Man is an action movie that forgot to add its action.
If Netflix continues this trend, it won’t survive the streaming wars. The service is losing subscribers because it can’t secure content people want to watch, and the original content it has been releasing has been subpar. There are a few exceptions, but there aren’t enough good Netflix originals to give the service the lasting power it is desperately grasping at.
Don’t watch this movie.
Movie Review: Love and Monsters (2020)
Love and Monsters is a lighthearted movie about surviving the end of the world. If you haven’t seen it or are thinking about it, think no more. Go watch it! This cheesy fun movie is a delight and you can watch it on Amazon if you have a Prime membership.
Humans are once again the catalyst for the world ending events that drive the narrative of this film. Animals have mutated because of the radiation, killing off most of the human population. The survivors now live scattered across the globe in small colonies. The movie focuses on Joel, an average guy who is incapable of taking action. Joel freezes at the sight of danger and as a result is left to cook and repair stuff for the colony he lives in. Joel is done waiting around and decides to venture out into the monster infested world to find his long lost girlfriend. Will Joel find the strength and courage to survive in a post apocalyptic California, or will the monsters make a meal of him?
Love and Monsters is a lot of fun, especially if you are a fan of Zombieland. It shares a similar style, but not as edgy. It is light hearted and cute, but there are real dangers lurking around the landscape. I loved the monster design, and each monster encounter was thrilling despite the overall tone of the movie.
Joel is played by a fantastic actor who brings this movie to life with his quirky nervousness. It is fun to see his character develop as he faces and overcomes adversities. He is also has some amazing chemistry with every actor he interacts with, including the dog. Joels charisma and chemistry with his costars create the tone necessary to make this movie work. With narratives like this, you need a lead with enough charisma to drive the plot and make the audience care.
As far as stories go, its fine. You’ve seen movies like this before but it’s done well. It is a little cheesy but the cheese gives this movie its charm.
